Gee, I need Revenge....
The GEE fic to END ALL GEE fics....
SCENE: TMB....kinda. repairs are still underway from....well....inactivity. Several forums have been jurry rigged into mech hangars, as nobody seemed to use them. Open topic is kinda.....empty. Kad's lab has been Labjacked by some Mice, and in the center of the gaming forum, sits Marty...
Marty: Vengeance will be mine...*Cackle* I will reign victorious over Millie....
*Marty strokes a rifle, a particularly large rifle, with particularly large pink-tipped rounds chained together. It looks similar to an M60, but bigger*
*Enter Kad, liberally scratched by giant mutant mice*
Kad: Damnit....Marty! I need your help! Them damned Rats have taken over my Lab!
Marty: You....need me? What happened to all your weapons?
Kad: Abbey took them when she left me...
Marty: Fine, I shall help.....but on one condition: You help me with an experiment....
Kad: Uh....sure...
Marty: Muahahahaha, Wait here, I SHALL RETURN!
*Half an hour, thousands of gunshots/explosions later, and a ground-trembling on unknown proportions, Marty returns*
Marty: Your lab is free of Mice....whats left of it...
Kad: Why am I not re-assured...
Marty: *Maniac grin* Worry not....and now, for my experiment....
*Marty levels the oversized weapon at Kad, and pulls the trigger. a single pink burst shoots forth and smacks Kad clean through a wall*
Marty: Buahahahaha....My revenge begins with your ex....Millie, I vow this, Revenge will be swift....
Millie: Huh?
Marty: GYEEEEEEEEK!
*Marty spins around, firing rampantly. rounds hit everything in sight, including Millie*
Millie: GYACK! Wh-WHAT THE HELL.....Ugh....*Falls over*
Marty: Shit....
*Kad Emerges from the hole, slightly....limping*
Kad: Assssssss......Asssss...
Marty: Wow, it actually WORKS....Er, right....now I run away....
*Marty legs it, and Millie wakes up*
Millie: hiiiiiiiiideeeeee.....
*Random Forum. Reaper is letting rip with some awesome Guitarness, while Zero seems intent on re-arranging the parked mechs...Two n00bs are present, discussing how much they hate Guitars.*
Reaper: YEEEHAAAAAAWWWW! *Lets rip, and defeans the n00bs*
Zero: Damn dude, STOP THAT....you almost shook my Locust onto its ass!
Reaper: Sorry dude...*Lets rip again. the aforementioned Locust falls over, crushing one of the n00bs* Hehehehe...
Zero: DAMNIT REAPER!
*Marty enters, facing backwards, and apparantly shooting at something with regular bullets*
Marty: DIE EVIL ASS-HUNGERING ZOMBIES!
Reaper: Er....why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Kad: Assssssssss.....
Reaper: Damnit Marty....I Blame you...
Marty: I DIDN'T DO IT!
Kad: Assssssss......
Zero: WHAT THE FUCK?
Reaper: I STILL BLAME YOU!
Marty: STOP BLAMING AND START KILLING!
*Reaper's Guitar is, apparantly, also an assault rifle, as he promptly starts spewing ammunition every time he plucks the highest note he can think of. Zero, being the Mech Fanatic, jumps in a Blood Asp and generally starts shooting up the place. The n00b, having no weapons, is first to fall, being grabbed by Kad and kissed into oblivion*
Reaper: OH GOD NO, KILLY GAY LOVER ZOMBIES!
Zero: RETREAT! Our weapons have no effect!
*The three promptly retreat*
*Girls Khazi. Lisa is.....doing lisa-ish things in the mirror. Two more n00bs present, also doing whatever girls do in toilets*
Millie: hiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeee.....*Stagger* Assssssss.....*Hugs one of the n00bs*
N00b: Ew, like, Eww.
N00b2: Heehee! She got the hots for you!
N00b: This is, like, totally gross!
Millie: Assssss.....*Drags the n00b into a cubicle*
N00b2: EWWWW! GET OFF MY FRIEND!
Millie: Grrrr....threesome...*Grabs and drags*
Lisa: Aw Shit....this is gonna be one of those days...
*Girly squeals from the cubicle*
Lisa: Yeap.....*Runs*
*General Topic*
Frosty: HEY GUYS! I'M BACK!
N00b: Whu R U B!tch I roxxz0rz b!tch!!!11!!!
Frosty: Of course you do, honey...
N00b: GTF way frum me B!tch!
Kad: Assssssss.....*Grabs the n00b and drags him away*
Frosty: Wow, people ARE friendly around here today!
*N00B returns, minus trousers*
N00B: 455555555555555!!!!!111
Frosty: Errrr....right...*Attempts to run, but is grabbed by the n00b and dragged over to Kad*
Matt: Hey guys, I found Oddish....
Oddish: Nyahahaha....I'm BACK BABY!
Kad: Assssssssssss.....older asssssss.....
Oddish: Thats not very nice you know....
Matt: Er, Odd, I dont think he's calling you an ass...
Oddish: Killer Ass humping Zombies? Nah....impossible...
Matt: GYAAAAAH! GET OFFA ME! HEY! DONT PUT THAT THEAAAAAAGH! OH GOD THE PAIN! AAAAAGH......ASSSSSSSSSS.....
Oddish: On second thoughts....
*Oddish pulls out a pair of pistols, and puts Matt out of his misery*
Oddish: What the hell is going on here....*Backing away slowly from the zombies*
Kad: Asssssss....
Oddish: >< STOP CALLIN ME AN ASS! *Blam. no effect* Er....WTF?
*Enter Reaper, Marty, and Zero's Mech, firing rampantly down a different corridor*
Reaper: DIE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! *Lets rip with an awesome riff, and wipes out a dozen n00bs*
Marty: Er, dude, they weren't infected...
Reaper: Do I care?
Oddish: Wha th the hell is going on here?
Reaper: We're being invaded by butt munching undead....
Marty: Totally not my fault...
All: Riiiiiiight.....
Kad: Asssssss....
Oddish: Why aren't my bullets working on that thing?
Marty: Its Super-condensed gayness. only something equally gay could ever penetrate it!
Reaper: Hmph....I'll go get Barney then....
Zero: And in case he fails....I'll go round up some natives....
*Reaper and Zero exit*
Oddish: Er....that leaves you an me....
Marty: Hehehe....Hey, I'm safe. they get too close, I just whack myself with this, and its clear sailing...
*Marty holds up a bottle of Jusenkyo water...*
Oddish: Hmph....whaddabout me?
Marty: Oh, you're well and truely fucked buddy...
Oddish: Grrrrrrr....
*The zombie hordes surround the two men, who are firing a constant stream of bullets into the horde, with little effect*
Oddish: I'm outta Ammo!
Marty: Ameteur...*Throws Oddish his rifle, withdraws a Katana, and charges the horde*
Oddish: DAMNIT, GET BACK HERE! *Blasts away, trying to follow Marty*
Marty: DIE N00B! *Killage* Errrr.....Oddish?
Oddish: Yes?
Marty: Behind me, NOW!
*Oddish quickly runs behind Marty, just as Marty smashes the bottle on his own forhead. the water sprays over both of them, reducing them to chicks. The horde quickly disperce*
Marty: Buahahaha, VICTORY!
Oddish: I have....breasts....Er, Marty?
Marty: Yes?
Oddish: Is that Millie and a horde of zombie n00bs?
Marty: Shit.....RUN!
Oddish: I'm not sure if I should be scared or curious....
Marty: Pervert....
Millie: Assssssss.....Minions.....go forth....
*Marty slices one of Oddish's tendons*
Marty: Sorry bud....You're the Sacrifice....*Legs it*
Oddish: MARTY YOU TRAITOROUS BASTARD!
Millie: Assssss....*Drags Oddish off to a closet* Cutieeeeee.....
*Outside, Reaper has returned with Barney, who is singing merrily as he charges towards Kad. the two meet in the middle, and explode into a horrible, gay, gooey mess of pinkness.*
Reaper: VICTORY!
Zero: Er, yeah....uhm....I kinda killed all the natives I could find...
Reaper: Worry not...we can clear up with your Mech....
Zero: Yeah, about that....I kinda ran out of Ammo...killing Natives....
Reaper: Bah, no worries, The three mechateers are three guys no zombie will ever beat...
Zero: Guys? *Zero points to a retreating Marty* Riiiiiight...
Reaper: DAMNIT! WHY CANT I EVER MAKE A GOOD, EVIL, SOUL STIRRING SPEACH WITHOUT IT BEING BORKED?
*Reaper pulls out a Missile Launcher, and Nukes TMB. all that remains is a crater, and Millie, who seems to be intent on hugging a rock in the shape of a J-rock star*
Marty: Could you wait until AFTER I escape before nuking me in the future?
Reaper: This is all your fault...PREPARE TO DIE!
Marty: MEEEEEP! *Runs*
THE END